I have been married to my husband for 5 years and we have 2 young children. My problem is that he gets upset with me when I want to do something or go somewhere that does not include him. He does not like to get out of the house much, and if he doesn't feel like going, he expects me to stay home too. Every couple of weeks, when I want to do something with me friends in the evening, it usually turns into a huge issue and a big fight. I would have no problem if he wanted to go somewhere, but usually he wants to stay home and watch tv or whatever. I try to tell him I need to have a little space for me and it has nothing to do with him but he gets offended. He absolutely refuses to let me go to the bar with my girlfriends. I have never been unfaithful and he doesn't have any reason to mistrust me. He says he just doesn't trust everyone else around me. But it is not just about trust, he was angry because I wanted to go out to dinner with my parents and he didn't want to go and was furious I went anyway. I am a grown up and feel like a child again having to constantly ask permission to go anywhere. When I do it is usually, "I'd rather you not", then if I argue its "Well you obviously don't care what I think, so do whatever you want to!" I feel like a 15 year old arguing with my mother. We argue a lot and I am feeling more and more resentful. I fell in love with a fun loving, easygoing man, but feel married to a close minded selfish person. I try to talk to him about but don't feel as if I ever get anywhere with it. He says I should be committed to my family and so I shouldn't want to go out. I feel like if I keep submitting to him I am losing a part of who I am and what makes me happy. Is he manipulating me or am I out of line in what I want. Please help me, is there something I can do so I am happy and still be married to this man?

The quick answer to your question is to gradually change the tide. To do this peacefully, I suggest having company, such as girlfriends, family, friends from your church, etc. over to your house. Initially invite them over; especially the kind that are unobtrusive and will invite themselves over.

When they come over, have tea parties or lots of fun girl talk. Eventually your friends, knowing you have a husband might be inclined to bring their male counterparts along with them. These steps will gradually affect your husband and he will most likely open up to some degree. This will be your opportunity to alter the tide. While this is occurring, I challenge you to search within and to honestly assess where the change began. What part did you play in the scenario? Permission is always given on some level either consciously or subconsciously. For example, a child learns it is okay to cry to receive something after receiving the desired response from tears. Tantrums come when the usual crying becomes less successful. Remember adults are grown children.

Look at your part in the permission process, acknowledge it, and then lastly embrace it without judgment. The knowing with a lack of judgment is a key to growth and
healing.-

I hope this is helpful.