Ok, I need some serious help here. My husband and I have known each other since we were in the third grade. We practically grew up together. We have been together a little over two years.  We've only been married almost 3 months. Well, here is my dilemma. We both used to do drugs pretty heavily when we first got together. That was a thing of the past though. We are both clean now but we both still drink every now and then. Now, let me tell you my situation...My husband left to join the army at the end of October last year. We were not engaged, not married, just dating.  Well, while he was gone I was still into drugs a little bit and I made the huge mistake of sleeping with his best friend. I only did it because we were messed up and I know that isn't an excuse. I blame myself completely for what I did because I could have told him no. Well, my husband just recently found out about it. Another one of his friends told him and of course when he first asked me I lied about it. Actually I lied about it several times. 

Well, I finally came out with the truth and now we are spending some time apart while he decides what he wants to do.  I love him with all my heart and I really don't know what I would do without him. He is my very best friend. I need to get my life right before I can save our marriage and I want him to see that I am trying. You see I have never been baptized before and this Sunday I am going to be. I am going to get my life together. I really don't know what I would do without him. Please give me some advice. I'm so lonely without him. He is my soul mate. Please help me. I feel like I am dying.

The first key is to keep the lines of communication open. Don't fall into the blame and guilt game, it will only keep you in bondage. Infidelity has many friends who like to hang around, those being guilt, shame, condemnation, blame and of course lying. For every bad decision we make in life, there will always be a consequence to be paid. 

Your husband is probably experiencing feelings of betrayal, anger, confusion and resentment. Don't despair, these are natural reactions. It's what you do when you are confronted with these feelings that is important.

That's great that you are substance free! It sounds like you are wanting to change your life and to put it on a positive level. Making the decision to put God first in your life is the most positive direction to take. Ask him to take control of your relationship and to make it whole again. I know he will heal the hurts and he wants you to cast your problems on to him. Cast actually means to "throw" or "pitch." You can pitch or throw your problems to God and he knows how to catch them and what to do with them. 1 Peter 5:6,7

Be sincere and honest with your husband. Communicate with him. Remember, communication is key. Don't waiver and above all keep your focus on what you really want to happen in your relationship.